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Aging Parents Concerns Support Group
About the Group
The purpose of our Aging Parents Concerns support group is to develop a mutual support system, for ourselves as caregivers, that will help maintain our spiritual and emotional health and well-being.
Specifically, the group may provide an opportunity for members to:
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Exchange practical information and resources related to caregiving in both local and long-distance situations.
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Share ways of coping with stress, fear, frustration, worry, guilt, anger, and other emotions associated with caregiving with others who have experienced similar feelings.
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Share feelings, needs and concerns in a supportive and non-judgmental atmosphere.
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Encourage each other to take care of ourselves, i.e., seek ways to reduce our stress, take time out, recognize the presence of God in our lives.
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Help each other develop realistic expectations of ourselves and our loved ones, no matter what stage they are at, or how much or little experience we have with the processes of aging or illness.
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This is not a substitute for mental health therapy, and is for mutual support by non-professional folks on similar yet unique journeys.
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Meetings will have co-facilitators to keep us on track and our participation balanced.
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We meet on third Sundays of each month at 1:00, for 1 hour, in the small meeting room upstairs near the church office.
Guidelines
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Remember that every family's relationship and situation, as well as their loved ones' symptoms, are different. We are all doing the best we can within our situation.
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We will refrain from trying to fix things for each other, giving criticism, or offering unsolicited advice.
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Everything we share in our group will remain confidential. It is okay for us to share the feelings that came up for us in the group with others, but not mention by name what group members have said or the details of their situation. This builds safety and trust for the group.
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We can seek to practice in our group what can help us when we’re with our family members:
Listening to one another, being self aware, pausing before responding, recognizing our vulnerability and theirs, learning to trust and be trustworthy, seeking awareness of God’s presence in both Holy silence and the anxiety of the moment.
Opening Prayer
O God of unconditional and eternal love, you who give and sustain life in all its seasons,
help us as we grow older to understand and affirm ourselves in our changing relationships with parents and others dear to us.
Increase our sensitivity to their anxieties and frustrations.
Give us thankful hearts for their love and nurture throughout the years.
Grant us grace to forgive hurtful memories; and forgive us for our unloving words and deeds.
Calm our fears of loss and change, and open our hearts to the promise of new life.
In Jesus' name. Amen.
—Barbara A. Brown, SCHC
Closing Prayer
“Be at Peace”
Do not look forward in fear to the changes of life. Rather, look to them with full hope that as they arise, God, whose very own you are, will lead you safely through all things. And when you cannot stand it, God will carry you in His arms. Do not fear what may happen tomorrow. The same everlasting [God] who cares for you today will take care of you today and every day. He will either shield you from suffering or will give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations.
—St. Francis de Sales
Web Resources
Aging, National
National Institute on Aging (NIA)
The New Old Age, a NY Times blog (see book by this author, below)
Caregiving, National
National Alliance for Caregiving
National Family Caregivers Assn
Support for Spousal Caregivers
National Assn of Professional Geriatric Care Managers
Eldercare Locator, a public service of the U.S. Administration on Aging
Local Support and Info
Locate Support Groups (Alzheimers Assn. sponsored)
Greenwood Senior Center Support Groups
State of WA Aging & Disability Services Publications
State of WA, Help for Caregivers: You're Not Alone
Bereavement Support Groups at Swedish Hospital
Articles to download:
Taking Care of the Caregiver.pdf
Caregiver Resource Directory: Online Version
So Far Away: Twenty Questions for Long-Distance Caregivers
Tips for Caring for a Person with an Impaired Memory
List of articles available from the Alzheimer's Assn.
(free)
(see also above State of WA links)
Books
A Bittersweet Season, by Jane Gross, the author of The New Old Age, a NY Times blog. In telling the warmhearted story of caring for her own aged and ailing mother, New York Times journalist Jane Gross offers indispensable advice on virtually every aspect of elder care. More info here.
Still Alice, by Lisa Genova
A compelling debut novel about a 50-year-old woman's sudden descent into early onset Alzheimer's disease. » website
How To Say It® to Seniors: Closing the Communication Gap with Our Elders, by David Solie, M.S., P.A.
Here is an excerpt.
Passages in Caregiving - Turning Chaos Into Confidence, by Gail Sheehy
This recently published book "will walk you through the emotional journey, stage by stage, and show caregivers how to outwit our broken healthcare system and keep a loved one safe and satisfied, without sacrificing their own health and happiness."
Gail Sheehy's website has helpful interviews about the issues, as well as info on the book.
Available at the Seattle Public Library (SPL website)
The Eldercare Handbook: Difficult Choices, Compassionate Solutions, by Stella Mora Henry, R.N.
Eldercare 911: The Caregiver's Complete Handbook for Making Decisions
When Roles Reverse: A Guide to Parenting Your Parents, by Jim Comer
Taking Care of Aging Family Members: A Practical Guide, by Wendy Lustbader and Nancy R. Hooyman
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